im really hurt

We have quarrel few days already
until yesterday
i yelling to my mum and beside i argue with my bf

i felt very sorry to my mum
mum im sorry please forgive me
after that my bf keep blaming me
said i let him wait so long

i knew my bf in sad mood
because i want go swimming with a man

this case have many details
i lazy to describe

i only know my situation
im sorry i yelling to my bf
cause i really cannot handle my emotion

that time i yelling to my mum
and in phone my bf did not comfort me
just scold me

how many years i didn yelling on people
i think i didn did it before

my bf keep saying "show understanding and sympathy for"
then why you didn make it
my bf call me few times but i missed
when i answer the phone
what i hear what i get  i really feel sad and heart broken

when i yelling to my bf
im driving
i lost my control
im driving fast
i almost put my life in the edge

at the street of nibong tebal
i almost bump against a motor rider
rider hon me
make me calm down

people say
不曾失去过的人  不会懂得珍惜

i know you are disappointed
also me

what is the bf's responsibility?

im thinking if i not your gf
maybe you will comfort me in that time
maybe you will more patience
maybe you ..................